What do my good friend, nurse and writer, Lois Roelofs, and the past president of the United States, Jimmy Carter, have in common? Besides being caring people with a deep commitment to their faith, they both promote hospice services.
Lois wrote a book about her husband: Marv Taking Charge: A Story of Bold Love and Courage. Marv refused chemo after he was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. He chose to spend the time he had left to do what was important to him, which was to travel to family and friends saying his final farewells. He refused to be inconvenienced by therapy that offered no guarantee to maintain his quality of life. The doctor warned him that he only had weeks to live without treatment. He lived for six months, and with Lois’ help, he completed his wish. Lois wrote about his journey to show how hospice supported his decision. On July 11th, I spotlighted Lois’ book on my blog. Check out the post: Choosing How to Die.
Jimmy Carter also decided to forgo treatment. Without frequent hospitalizations, he, too, was told he would live only weeks. Now, months later he is still alive, comfortable at home under the care of a hospice program. His position in the national eye exposes hospice’s benefits to many who believe hospice is a fast track to death.
Of course, hospice is not for everyone. In her essay, A Fitting Final Gift from Jimmy Carter, Daniela J. Lamas covers the pros and cons of hospice care. (The New York Times, August 28, 2023)
This is not to say that home hospice is the only “right” way to die. Mr. Carter is surrounded by family with the resources to care for him if his symptoms worsen. Home hospice is not designed to offer care 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Instead, the system largely relies on families to care for the people they love, and there are many families for whom this is not possible or for whom the harsh realities of the dying process are simply too much to bear. Dying at home is not the only way to preserve grace and dignity at the end, but for some, it is the right way.
I’m hoping that Lois’ book and Jimmy Carter’s example help to disprove the myths that surround hospice.
Check out Lois’ podcast (episode 23) describing her support of her husband’s decision and their experience with hospice.
Getting Older: Charting the Uncharted 