A close friend of mine just called wanting to talk about a medication her doctor advised her to take—an antidepressant. Her adult son died suddenly of a massive heart attack this past summer. An uncle died last week, on the same day a memorial service was held for her son. She just wanted some validation that her decision not to take the drug was the right one.

I’m reminded of a post from March 28, 2012, Grief: The Proposed DSM-5 Gets It All Wrong, written by Karen Roush. She states symptoms of grief, “sadness, sleeplessness, crying and loss of interest in every day pleasures” that last longer than two weeks would warrant a diagnosis of mental illness if the DSM-5 gets approval.

How long does it take to “get back to normal” after the loss of a child? Carol Henderson and twelve other mothers who lost children at various ages met over the past ten years and now have a book, Farther Along, documenting their shared journey. Their stories are an example of the tortuous route of grief.

Carol and Malcolm

Carol recently wrote that she spent the afternoon in bed on the anniversary of her son’s death–thirty years ago.

It takes time.