Do We, Or Do We Not, Age in Place?

My husband, Ernie, and I both in our eighties, own a two-story townhouse. Our aging bodies are giving us concern about how we can continue to live independently. Even though the master bedroom is on the first floor and we can still climb steps to the second, there is no doubt that our mobility will be challenged by progressive arthritic joints, and who knows what else, going forward. Plus, we have called 911 more times than we’d like to admit—mostly to evaluate Ernie after a fall. 

We spent a lot of time researching our options. First, we put a great deal of money down on a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC). This facility would allow us independence while we were walking and had our mental ability intact and would have services to deal with memory problems, rehabilitation after a fall or surgery, and skilled care should one, or both of us become unable to care for ourselves. The day before we were to pick out our appliances, wall colors, and kitchen counters for a two-bedroom apartment, we cancelled. 

We decided to stay in our current home. However, the appeal of group programs with other older persons, such as exercise classes, educational lectures, and communal dining drew us to consider renting an apartment in a senior complex. This felt better than a CCRC because we wouldn’t be forfeiting money that we couldn’t retrieve if we decided it didn’t work. Again, we got cold feet and pulled out before we put our house up for sale. 

Even though we decided to stay in our current home, we still couldn‘t stop visiting other living facilities. 

Our two adult children, who had no idea that we were even thinking of moving, had whiplash over our decision making process. We had to educate them how each place we visited would help us as we aged. 

Finally, we realized, for us, aging in place made the most sense.  

I’m glad we won’t be wasting time learning about various retirement options. No more inspecting other sites, spending the evenings discussing the pros and cons of moving, and updating our children of our latest thoughts. I was the one who usually got all excited about the place we just saw. And Ernie was the one who felt uncomfortable when we were scheduled to sign on the dotted line. In the end, we tossed out intellectual analysis and went “with our gut”. 

Now, we are upgrading our two-story townhouse to accommodate our aging bodies: putting grab bars in the shower, installing a bidet, building a patio outside our screened porch to even out a steep slope. We’ve covered up bland gray-blue living room walls with a Tuscany golden brown to brighten the room. We have a rack of weights, exercise bands, and a small treadmill made for older adults. 

Along with the first floor bedroom, our townhouse already has a walk-in shower and a homeowners’ association that tends to the grounds and provides other maintenance chores.  Even though increased medication has controlled my husband’s falls, we applied for a discount from the county to offset the cost of potential emergency assistance. Our health care providers are near-by as is a university run hospital. 

There is no way to predict that aging in place is the right decision. But now we can concentrate on enjoying daily life in our townhouse.