More Voices: Worry
Firing My Doctor
Marianna Crane
31 May 2018
I didn’t decide to “fire” my doctor on the spot.
During my last appointment with her, I’d filled Dr. Green in on the details of my mastectomy. I happily reported that the surgeon had declared me “cured”–the tumor’s margins were clear and my nodes were negative. Because I had large breasts and wanted to avoid wearing a heavy prosthesis, I’d had a reduction on my healthy breast at the same time. A routine biopsy of that tissue had showed dysplasia–abnormal cells. As a nurse, I’d researched this finding and found scant evidence that it would develop into cancer. My surgeon had concurred.
As I sat on the exam table while Dr. Green stood by the sink drying her hands, I told her I’d decided not to worry about it.
Without making eye contact, Dr. Green said, “I’d worry.”
I froze.
Never one to have a quick comeback, I left the office without a word about her offhand remark. It wasn’t the comment itself that concerned me, but her apparent indifference to my feelings. Plus, what good would worrying do?
Having a potentially life-threatening illness had boosted my resolve to surround myself with people who would cheer me, not depress me. Dr. Green was a competent doctor technically but lacked sensitivity–something that I value in a patient-physician relationship. I decided to look for another primary-care provider.
After calling Dr. Green’s office to cancel my next appointment, I requested that my records be sent to my new doctor. The receptionist asked if I would tell Dr. Green why I was leaving. I agreed, and before I could get nervous Dr. Green was on the line.
I relayed the incident at my last appointment; I said that her “I’d worry” statement had left me shaken and disturbed. Whether I was right or wrong, what I wanted from a provider was someone who cared for my physical and mental needs.
Surprisingly, she thanked me. I hung up the phone feeling rattled that I had voiced such a candid assessment. Gradually, however, jubilation replaced anxiety. I realized that I had control over my life and those whom I allowed into it.
I can only hope that my forthrightness with Dr. Green improved her communication skills.
Marianna Crane
Raleigh, North Carolina
Getting Older: Charting the Uncharted 
Marianna, Good For You! I had a PCP years ago whose manner was the same as Dr. Green’s. She was brisk, competent but never looked me in the eye. Her bedside manner was non-existent. Plus she always complained about her work and about healthcare in general. So I “fired” her but never had that conversation with her as to why I left. That is probably unfortunate—she perhaps missed a learning opportunity?? Oh well. I have since found a new PCP who I love. She takes time with me; she is very thorough and truly listens; and she is responsive to my needs as a patient. I am so grateful to have found her. I do think our providers need feedback about the “patient experience”–the new buzz word in healthcare. Thanks for this great post.
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Good for you for having the courage to tell her the truth. As you said, we can only hope it improved her future communication with her patients. Thanks for sharing.
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I wish I could say I made the decision to talk to Dr. Green but the receptionist interceded and now I am glad that I did get a chance to tell the doc why I was leaving. Since then, I have tried to be more open with my assessment of my providers. They do learn from their patients.
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