I believe the better the friendship the more raucous the laugher—the real belly laughs that make you think you are going to die of asphyxiation. I have a number of friends that are enjoyable to be with but I have just two or three that make me really laugh.
Donna and I worked in home care at a Chicago area VA in the late ’80s. Our caseload mostly included veterans who were elderly with chronic disease or dying of cancer. Both NP’s, we worked four-ten hour days a week, each covering for the other on the day we had off. Jane, a third NP who worked with us, had young children and requested to work a regular schedule.
Many times after work, Donna and I lingered in the large 4-bed room on a deserted patient unit that served as an office for us three NPs. Each of our desks was centered against a wall. No other furniture filled cavernous room. Donna and I would take turns rolling our chairs next to the other’s desk. We discussed our patients before we wandered off into the personal and humorous. Our laughter ricocheted off the walls. If we became raucous, we didn’t care since there was no one nearby to complain.
After my husband and I had moved to the DC area, Donna came to visit. At one of my favorite art museums—The Phillips Gallery, Donna and I burst into unrestrained laughter. I can’t remember the trigger. What could be so funny in an art gallery? The other patrons gave us wide berth while we two middle-aged women tried to control ourselves. The more we worked to settle down, the harder we laughed. That was the last time Donna and I were together.
In 2000, Donna moved to southern Illinois and I to North Carolina. We emailed and occasionally spoke on the phone. In 2013, Donna was diagnosed with lymphoma.
During one of her remissions she reviewed my manuscript checking for any inaccuracies in my descriptions of NP practice in the 80’s. I sent her a thank you bouquet of flowers.
Now as I ready my book for publication, I am composing the Acknowledgements. The realization that Donna won’t see a formal appreciation saddens me. She died on July 9th.